Kenny Cheng Actor
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hey :)

8/8/2021

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I'm still alive :)
I've been diverting my energy into a new youtube channel haha. I'm doing life coaching. Hopefully I can live off that and then I can finally do acting again. I've been struggling to find a job that I enjoy doing that's acting-friendly. Hopefully this is the one :) if not, i'll find something else to do. Sorry i've heavily neglected updating this website.. Not a huge priority at this point in time but I will soon!
Peace!

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so....i turned 35 :)

14/4/2020

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I feel like this blog is becoming my life journal sometimes...and here's what I've learnt:
  • coronavirus is here, but thankfully I still have my job at the pharmacy.
  • I'm thinking about becoming a therapist now and helping people with their mental health
  • I consulted a life coach and he was amazingly good. Thanks Rafael
  • I realised that life isn't scary when you stop forcing things. Just go wtih the flow
  • It's ok to live at your parents' house. They probably value you more than you think
  • Focus on you.... don't worry about chasing relationships. doing so only leads to disappointment
  • Forget about what the rest of the world is doing - life is quite amazing when coronavirus is here...theres no rush to do anything as everyone else is asleep. take your time. don't force anything.
  • Looking after yourself and putting yourself first is the most important thing you can ever do
  • Whatever you believe in, the universe will find a way to deliver that to you.
  • this also marks 10 years since I went to USA to become an actor - oh so much has changed since then :)
​
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finding a new direction

6/9/2017

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Wow i can't believe it's been 16 months since my last post. I've moved into my own apartment now and I've been here for over a year. I'm enjoying the space. It's allowed me to feel independent.
​
So what have I been doing all this time?

I've dabbled in a few entrepreneur projects, (wanted to have an online business so that I can pursue acting) but depression got the better of me and it felt really scary doing it all by myself. Whenever I hit a wall, no one is there to help and I didn't really believe in my projects as I felt they were all lies.

Gave up on the massage business because my apartment is a little too small for that and I didn't feel comfortable letting strangers in my place and having them see my entire place. It made me feel very vulnerable and I didn't have any protection. It doesn't look professional. I also gave up on the singing teaching business as well for the same reason. I really need a proper place to teach and don't feel comfortable doing it in my own home.

Basically I'm sick of doing little bits and pieces kind of work.

I want something that is stable and reliable so that I can do acting on top of that. When your whole life is unstable, I become mentally unstable and I fall in a dark hole. I want something that is ALWAYS there. It needs to be a job that I love and am happy doing it if acting doesn't work out.

Last month I flew up to Brisbane to see what it would be like to 'live' there. I'm sick of Melbourne. the cold weather, my parents (get depressed if I spend more than 20 mins near them), sick of all the gay boys as well. Everyone I meet seems to have massive issues. My rent is about to go up from $320 to $400 and there's no way I can afford that. I'd have to work 4 days at the pharmacy and that will probably be the end of my life.

The thought of being a Physio kind of excites me. I've already got a place at uni so I'm considering taking the offer next year. That will mean I'll be there for 4 years but it might be fun. It would be easier to make friends there without all the baggage of Melbourne.

Ultimately, I would love to live in America. I've applied for the green card visa for the past 7 years but never get it (although I know people who have gotten it). Going to america to find a boyfriend and marrying him probably isn't going to work. Applying for an entertainment visa won't work either unless I'm already famous here. Applying for a work visa won't work either as I will need a sponsor and have to work a day job. Basically, all the doors are closed and so it's time to let go of that dream now. It's made me a little bitter about the whole thing, especially when it was the only thing that made me happy but being a physio ain't too bad I suppose.

So in other news..... I auditioned for a commercial worth $12,000 but didn't get the role. Had to learn cantonese in that one too! Submitted a video audition for a short film shot in Sydney but didn't get it either. I'm still working as an actor, but my priorities has definitely shifted a lot. I'm learning how to look after myself now which isn't a bad thing.
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still continuing my hiatus

28/5/2016

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Wow! I didn't realise it was so long since I posted an update. I've been taking a mini break from commercial acting (but don't know how long it will be) as I recover from being a 'slave' to acting agents. I'm so sick of being 'on call' and having to give up my life just to attend auditions. I feel like my life is on hold and I have to wait for things to fall out of the sky.

In an order to look after myself mentally, I have decided to get a weekend job with regular hours (YES!). On weekdays I work as a medical simulation actor. I'm planning to move out to my own place so that I can teach music and do massages :) Things are looking up now. I'm now in control of my own life and I feel a lot better.

​Recently I've been thinking about getting back into acting. This is what I was born to do and I'm certainly not going to give up on it, but sometimes in life you just need to take a side step to find your ground before you can build on it and that's exactly what I've done! good work Kenny! 

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so i guess it's back to being positive!

2/9/2015

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Hey everyone, 

Last month I did a little video for Brisbane Airport. I felt really lucky to get this role as the producers were kind enough to fly me up to Brisbane from Melbourne. These sorts of things never usually happen and I was so surprised they picked me over all the other actors in Brisbane.

I had to quickly brush up on my Chinese (we could say that it was rather challenging learning all the airport terminology) but I somehow pulled it off, and also got a chance to take a mini holiday in Brisbane!

I was lucky to work with Mr Sean Kennedy - he used to be a presenter/producer for one of my childhood TV shows, Totally Wild. I also got some really good life advice from him too :)

Going to brisbane made me realise that I love acting and this is the right profession that suits me. I was going to throw it all away and study Physiotherapy and help athletes with their injuries, but acting is a skill that I have and it would be a shame not to share it with the world.

In other news, this week I've managed to audition for another TV commercial and just got emailed to audition for a feature film. I can't believe all this is happening. I don't even have an agent but I think life is really looking after me right now, so thank you.

I got promoted to a manager position at AFL which also never happens in my past 10 years of work life so something is definitely happening! Tonight I'll be heading to the gym for the first time in over 3 years as I've decided that I've neglected my body for long enough and I'm going to do something about it!
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opps i terrorized myself and now I'm sick

2/8/2015

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I completely terrorised my inner child with fear this week and as a result, I got sick. Sickness usually occurs when I'm too scared to deal with my issues, so I hide behind illness. Here's what I discovered:
  • Got an email from my real estate agent asking me if I want to renew the lease for another year. I kind of like living here but I'm sure I might be able to find better places, but that depends on the location, housemate, lifestyle etc. it all got a bit too much thinking about it and DIED
  • Put up a youtube video this week but only got 6 likes. I felt like my career was over and I'll never be popular or make it in the industry. I DIED
  • Decided to give up on my music and acting career to become a physiotherapist. I want my boyfriend to be stable and don't think I could ever date an actor/musician which means that I need to become stable myself in order to attract this. However, this meant letting go of my childhood dreams of becoming an actor/singer and therefore I DIED
  • Came across a studio for rent for me to do massages, but I don't even have customers so how can I afford to rent a separate room for it? but if I don't rent a room, there's no way I can do it from my house unless I move out? oh it was too hard so I DIED
moving house, self esteem issues, career changes are HUGE steps and it just so happened to hit me all at once so therefore "I now forgive myself for scaring myself. All is well in my world and everything is working out perfectly".

Amen to that :)
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I'm attracting lots of work!

19/7/2015

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I've been so busy loving myself and looking after myself, I completely forgot about updating this blog!
  • I recently started my eye therapist, Greg Marsh and he's helping me learn to see again. A lot of it comes down to self hate/criticism and punishing myself which is why my eye muscles get tense. The more I let go of fear, the clear my vision becomes!

  • Recently another AFL club asked me to help them because they've heard amazing things about me! I am incredibly blessed to have people love me because I used to think that no one liked me and I was always unfavoured when it came to shift allocation, but the tables have turned now!

  • I got approached my a theatre company, who asked me to audition for a lead role for theatre, which will be performed at the Melbourne Theatre Company :) My childhood dreams have finally come to life. I used to hate theatre because I never got any roles in high school, and now the universe is literally throwing a lead role in my face where I get to plan an Asian-American surgeon in an American accent! wow!

  • I'm travelling interstate to do a corporate video and I cannot believe that they are paying for my flights! This never happens and I didn't even have to audition to get the role! I guess the world really needs me and my skills. I'm not so useless after all :)

  • I'm working at the soccor tournament as well so there will be some $$ coming in! My singing teaching/massage business hasn't really taken off yet so I am so lucky to have income. There are a few people who actually like being around me and are reaching out to me :) I didn't know that I was likable! They actually say hi to me and say goodbye to me when they finish their shift.  This is amazing!

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i found something I love!

14/5/2015

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last Tuesday, my friend Grace came over and we had a jam session where we played and sang songs from Nashville (TV series we're both addicted to). 

Then we decided to take it a step further and write a song - yep you'll get to hear it when it's finished. 

We also went on YouNow and broadcasted the entire session and we made lots of cool online friends, some of which thought we were professional song writers. WOW! 

well i've always wanted to be one and it just so happens Grace is amazing at lyrics. I'm an audio engineer and she's a video editor. There's a production house right here :) stay tuned!

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so i turned 30...

23/4/2015

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Yep, that's right.... I turned 30 two weeks ago!
I went to see Ed Sheeran and a YouTube convention to celebrate it! I made my dream come true....to be out of my parent's house and living independently by 30!

I'm really glad I'm getting involved with what I love - YouTube and singer-songwriters....and ginger boys ;)

I had an audition today for a mini-series for the ABC. Things are going pretty well! I'm still doing my medical acting (workload has increased this year) as well as enjoying my freedom! I love being alive!

I feel at peace with myself and have found myself hating less things and simply accepting things as they are. A sign of maturity perhaps?
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I moved out of home!

26/2/2015

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So after 29 years, 10 months and 18 days, I have finally moved out of home! It was emotionally difficult for me - mainly because I could sense that my parents didn't want me to leave. In the weeks leading up to it, I could feel their sadness and I didn't know what to do. 

On one side, I would love to stay home and look after them because my brother decided to nick off (that's another story), so it was just me who had to sort out my parents. On the other hand, it was getting too much for me to breathe and I couldn't be myself and I kept getting irritated. I could feel my parents 'stealing' energy from me/trying to get close to me and not only was it uncomfortable, I simply didn't have spare love to give them and with my energy so slow, I was often drained very quickly whenever I was in the house.

The hardest moment was slowly packing my things into boxes, knowing that this would be the last few moments at the house. I looked around the house and I started to miss it. My room didn't feel like it was mine anymore as there were 'gaps' of items missing. Mum was in the lounge room trying to keep herself occupied, but I knew reality was hitting her pretty badly. I told her I was leaving (but said I'd be back tomorrow to pick up a few things to soften the blow), and she seemed ok about it - even though I could tell in her eyes that she was quite upset. I did my best not to blame them or make them look like they were the ones who were causing me to move. Dad made a last ditch attempt at delaying me by removing my car light globe and telling me to wait until the next morning to replace it. However, I knew I was getting out of the house that night. Stopping myself from leaving would only add to more frustration.

When I arrived at my new place, I didn't quite know what to do. I found it really difficult to unpack my things. Reality hit me and I kept thinking about my parents and how they must be feeling. As I opened the boxes to unpack my clothes, I could feel my old houses' energy in them and I didn't want to open it. I felt really sad opening them up. Even though I literally packed them about an hour ago, it felt like a long time had passed and I was opening up an old treasure chest. I still remember the sound of the packaging tape being pulled off the roll.

All I can do right now is look after my feelings and really 'hug' myself. I can feel my heart crying, so I'm going to do my best and comfort it as much as I can. I only have myself now - no boyfriend, no parents, no housemate (she's out for the night) and no friends (no one was available to help me at the last minute). It's just me on a solo mission with no distractions. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to my parent's love and leaving them to sort out their own issues, but I know that I have to heal myself before I can heal others and I trust the process of life.

Ok, I better goto sleep now. I've been eating a tiny kid sized box of sultanas (yes, I took that from my parent's house) while writing this and it is all getting a bit much.

Peace to all!

Kenny

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